Excerpt from The Relationship Code, Engage & Empower People with Purpose and Passion
By Margaret McCraw

• People with positive social relationships recover from illness faster.
• Strong & Sustained Intimacy Helps You Live Longer.
• Family is the most pressing concern of 22 percent of all women.
• People who have a “best friend” at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs.
• Conflicted Feelings About a Relationship Can Raise Your Blood Pressure.
• Stress causes more than 54 percent of Americans to fight with people close to them.

Many of us are greatly affected by our daily interactions with those we regularly encounter, whether these people are our bosses, co-workers, families or friends. These relationships can be major contributors to our overall success at work and at home, our health, and well-being.

Our reaction to challenging situations and conflict in our relationships causes stress, which is a psychological and physiological response to events that upset our personal balance in some way. We have all experienced relationships that have caused tension, and anxiety within us. Although the stressors in our daily lives play a major role in our overall health, happiness, and productivity, many of us believe that we have no control over these.

It is important to respond to challenges and conflict in a manner that prevents or at least minimizes stress and impacts our health. It is crucial, therefore, that we explore the dynamics of our interpersonal relationships and understand how we attract the negative or positive experiences. Our current state of well-being is mirrored through our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions creating experiences that shape our daily lives. We must learn how to create positive vibrations and shape our own destinies.

We must first understand how our thoughts and emotions affect our mental and physical well being. The World Health Organization states, “Mental health is not just the absence of mental disorder. It is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”
To recognize our own potential, we must believe in ourselves and understand our potential to contribute to the higher good for all. We must take responsibility for our lives without judgment, guilt, or blame because these factors can lower our belief in our self-worth and turn us into some of the alarming statistics quoted above. Let us let go of those painful memories from our past once and for all. By releasing judgment and negative thoughts, we create positive energy and attract more of what we desire. Let us take responsibility for our feelings and realize that no one can make us feel good or bad. Let us be true to ourselves and understand that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

We must learn to cope with the challenges of life in a positive manner. Think about your colleagues, family, and friends. Do you ever encounter tension in any of these relationships? How we deal with them is the difference between a healthy mental state and an unhealthy one. To begin eliminating interpersonal stress, we must understand what causes tension in these relationships and begin effectively communicating with others. Learning to respond rather than merely react is a common challenge. To reach our highest potential, we must communicate with others openly, honestly, thoughtfully, respectfully, and genuinely. Authentic communication will lead us into greater interpersonal relationships that will benefit all. We will be heard and respected as we interact with others.