The Relationship Code is a guide to the four-step Harmonic Matching Process, which shows how you can learn to create a life in which you take control of your destiny. There are four steps to attracting positive relationships and opportunities at work and at home. Here is an excerpt from the book “The Relationship Code: Engage and Empower People with Purpose and Passion,” by Margaret McCraw, MBA, LCSW-C, BCC
Energize your emotional resources by focusing your feelings on positive states. Collect and cherish feel-good memories, dreams, and fantasies to elevate your emotions. In step one, you learn how to transform negative emotions into their opposite positive emotions. As your emotional state becomes more positive, your self-esteem increases and you learn to create positive relationships and new feel-good moments. These help you attract and inspire all of your relationships in both your personal and professional lives
Clarify your desire in thought and define relationship goals by creating wish lists for different types of relationships. Most of what we want in life comes through relationships with other people. This step is about getting a clear idea of what you want in your personal and work relationships. When your goals are well-defined, you are guided to communicate them effectively through clear agreements. This step also emphasizes the importance of setting the intention that your goals be fulfilled for the highest good for all concerned
Elevate your beliefs and create believable goals. You learn to build your staircase to map out how you will achieve your desires and your bigger vision. It is not enough to simply speak an affirmation or make a wish. This step shows how important it is to blend and align your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to activate your intentions. When your intentions are activated, they become harmonically resonant with what you want. You learn how to overcome inhibitors and habitual coping mechanisms and the importance of transcending scarcity consciousness.
Releasing the outcome means letting go of fear, judgment and, feelings of inadequacy. Live in the present. Get on with your life and know that your desires will show up at the perfect time and in the perfect way.
Years ago, I was commuting to work and thinking about how unappreciated I felt by the individuals in the organization. Knowing that by giving attention to this situation I was setting myself up to attract other people in my life who did not appreciate me, I deliberately changed my mind and chose to focus on all the times that others demonstrated appreciation for the extra things I did for them. Several hours later, when I arrived at my destination, I was greeted by the CEO, who made a point of telling me how much she appreciated the extra effort I had provided on a specific project. A few minutes later, one of my employees stopped me in the hall and expressed gratitude for the mentoring I had offered him. Taking the time to focus on what I desired rather than what was irritating to me created a feel-good moment, which inspired me to go the extra mile for my employer.
The more you radiate positive thoughts and feelings, the more you attract those energies into your life. When you are sending out negative thoughts, it is very difficult to attract the relationships you really desire. The easiest way to let old negative emotions drift away from you is to fill your thoughts and feelings with positive emotions that push them out.
What do you love? Think about that. Just enjoy allowing yourself to feel the pleasure of thinking about what you love.
Select three activities that you enjoy; whatever makes you feel good.
What are you good at? It doesn’t matter what you choose; whatever you feel competent doing. Think about doing those things. Notice how your mood is getting brighter? Choose one activity or memory and focus on how you felt at the moment it was happening. Allow yourself to enjoy the glow. Breathe deep and relax into the feeling.
It is your mind. You can intentionally use it to lift your mood and elevate your self-esteem. You can do this anytime, anywhere. When you set the positive intention to feel good about yourself, you are doing one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself…and for everyone around you as well. Good feelings attract good feelings. Don’t be surprised if people smile at you on the street after you have been exploring positive memories and feelings. It’s natural. What an amazing discovery this is, that you can choose to direct your mind toward positive experiences that create positive emotions, and that this attracts positive relationships and opportunities into your life. For example, on your way to work, you might focus on a memory of a day when you achieved a notable success, and how good you felt about it. When you get to your workplace, your whole being will radiate positive energy that will attract a positive response from your boss and coworkers, resulting in a more productive day
Excerpt from The Relationship Code, Engage & Empower People with Purpose and Passion
By Margaret McCraw
Many of us are greatly affected by our daily interactions with those we regularly encounter, whether these people are our bosses, co-workers, families or friends. These relationships can be major contributors to our overall success at work and at home, our health, and well-being.
Our reaction to challenging situations and conflict in our relationships causes stress, which is a psychological and physiological response to events that upset our personal balance in some way. We have all experienced relationships that have caused tension, and anxiety within us. Although the stressors in our daily lives play a major role in our overall health, happiness, and productivity, many of us believe that we have no control over these.
It is important to respond to challenges and conflict in a manner that prevents or at least minimizes stress and impacts our health. It is crucial, therefore, that we explore the dynamics of our interpersonal relationships and understand how we attract the negative or positive experiences. Our current state of well-being is mirrored through our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions creating experiences that shape our daily lives. We must learn how to create positive vibrations and shape our own destinies.
We must first understand how our thoughts and emotions affect our mental and physical well being. The World Health Organization states, “Mental health is not just the absence of mental disorder. It is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”
To recognize our own potential, we must believe in ourselves and understand our potential to contribute to the higher good for all. We must take responsibility for our lives without judgment, guilt, or blame because these factors can lower our belief in our self-worth and turn us into some of the alarming statistics quoted above. Let us let go of those painful memories from our past once and for all. By releasing judgment and negative thoughts, we create positive energy and attract more of what we desire. Let us take responsibility for our feelings and realize that no one can make us feel good or bad. Let us be true to ourselves and understand that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
We must learn to cope with the challenges of life in a positive manner. Think about your colleagues, family, and friends. Do you ever encounter tension in any of these relationships? How we deal with them is the difference between a healthy mental state and an unhealthy one. To begin eliminating interpersonal stress, we must understand what causes tension in these relationships and begin effectively communicating with others. Learning to respond rather than merely react is a common challenge. To reach our highest potential, we must communicate with others openly, honestly, thoughtfully, respectfully, and genuinely. Authentic communication will lead us into greater interpersonal relationships that will benefit all. We will be heard and respected as we interact with others.